Audience essay feedback and learner response
1) Copy and paste your feedback from the email in full - WWW, EBI and LR.
WWW:
. This is a highly impressive essay – nearly 700 words but most importantly it is sharply focused on the question and offers a range of valid points and examples.
· This ability to construct an argument and provide evidence for your points will be crucial when writing 20-mark exam essay questions in future assessments and the final Media exams.
· I particularly like your initial answer to the question in the introduction – that major companies have retained a lot of the power despite the changes due to the internet.
EBI:
·Your organisation and clarity is impressive but I wonder if you could add a little depth to each paragraph. Perhaps explore certain ideas in more detail or provide more examples from the internet to illustrate your points.
· For example, in your section on citizen journalism and news, some examples of news stories to add depth to your points would be great. In this case, something a citizen journalist has brought to the world (e.g. George Floyd’s death at the hands of police leading to Black Lives Matter protests) against investigative journalism like the New York Times and Donald Trump’s tax return would develop your argument.
LR:
Complete the LR tasks on the GCSE Media Year 1 blog – Audience and Industry essay feedback LR.
WWW:
. This is a highly impressive essay – nearly 700 words but most importantly it is sharply focused on the question and offers a range of valid points and examples.
· This ability to construct an argument and provide evidence for your points will be crucial when writing 20-mark exam essay questions in future assessments and the final Media exams.
· I particularly like your initial answer to the question in the introduction – that major companies have retained a lot of the power despite the changes due to the internet.
EBI:
·Your organisation and clarity is impressive but I wonder if you could add a little depth to each paragraph. Perhaps explore certain ideas in more detail or provide more examples from the internet to illustrate your points.
· For example, in your section on citizen journalism and news, some examples of news stories to add depth to your points would be great. In this case, something a citizen journalist has brought to the world (e.g. George Floyd’s death at the hands of police leading to Black Lives Matter protests) against investigative journalism like the New York Times and Donald Trump’s tax return would develop your argument.
LR:
Complete the LR tasks on the GCSE Media Year 1 blog – Audience and Industry essay feedback LR.
2) What was the word count for your essay?
The word count was 700.
The word count was 700.
3) What was your strongest paragraph? Why do you think it was better than others?
I think that my introduction as it explained my point well and it was better than others as it clearly got my opinion through.
I think that my introduction as it explained my point well and it was better than others as it clearly got my opinion through.
4) What was your weakest paragraph? Why do you think it wasn't as good as others?
My weakest paragraph was my newspaper one. This wasn't as good as the others as i didn't include examples to back up my point.
My weakest paragraph was my newspaper one. This wasn't as good as the others as i didn't include examples to back up my point.
5) How can you improve your extended writing in GCSE Media Studies in future?
I can improve by writing in more depth and also add examples and explain them to full length.
I can improve by writing in more depth and also add examples and explain them to full length.
6) Write ONE thing you have learned about the internet, audience and industry from completing this essay.
One thing i have learned from my essay was that the music industry has largely grown because of the internet and audience.
One thing i have learned from my essay was that the music industry has largely grown because of the internet and audience.
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